Words I Never Said


there are many words unsaid, unraveled words, telling me, telling me

something—something I do not understand, do not wish toknow.

we have left many words unspoken.

for years we have spoken

almost no words at all. yet

there are too many words to speak of

is this my fault. am I the reason.

—do not say the words—

holding this burden has nearly drowned me.

a weight.

I did not wish to carry this weight.

a weight I did not know

how to let go of. a lie I could not believe.

we haven’t spoken in too long, so distant

a memory are the words we spoke.

tell me what it was like to let go, unless you’ve been holding on.

have you been holding on?

because I have. no one

made me. no one said

I had to.

mostly, no one knew I was still clinging—I didn’t even know

fully, what it was I held.

—do not lie to me—

is this irreparable. can I…

—please do not answer—

there are, I fear,

too many words left