1
shadow is yourself.
the light is gone.
where has it gone?
a silence possesses its own presence.
you are also the presence, and the silence.
2
float…
3
pulled in contradictory-directions. heart-stopping.
pounding heart.
the light is gone.
4
scrambling, pulling, pulling at
nothing. nothing to hold.
where has the light gone?
5
in mind, out of mind, out of body
surrender to “without”
air, lungs, control, thought.
6
spinning, spinning, faster.
a thought is surfacing.
surface is the thought.
there is no light.
7, 8, 9, 10
a second is a lifetime.
a second is too much time.
a second second is coming.
is here. is gone. is
lost.
11
stop this, please.
12
where did the light go?
13
pain.
14
violent crack.
impact.
intimate memory
closing in.
please, air. please.
15
sliced flesh—painless. only sharp
yet not pain—you’ve felt worse than this—
survive.
16
freeze; stop moving; surrender.
17
examine color as sensation
burning, stinging, eyelid swell.
18
ebb and flow.
surrender.
19, 20, 21
noise is a thirst.
air is a thirst.
quiet is a thirst.
(someone. rescue me)
22
there is the light you cannot reach
is it above, or below?
looking, is the looking downward
or upward; is the looking also seeing?
23
count. wait. closer
24
chest heaving.
stop fighting.
25
the light is there.
26
stop. hope. pulse.
quiet.
27
this is the light.
rising, rising,
faster now.
28
silence bursting, tearing apart.
29
almost.
30
break forth, heaving air.
you survived.
aching wounds.
multiplied scars.
you survived.
rising, rising.
here is the light.
I have found the light.
here I am.